Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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