He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we're so committed to being not committed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
