I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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