I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
