there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
