I think i peed on brittanys purse
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
