this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
