matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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