Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
