That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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