I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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