why didn't you poke me back
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
