this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
