I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
