but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
These tits shall not be calmed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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