I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
