I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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