Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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