so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
