theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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