there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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