Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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