They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
