Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
