Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
