i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Every concussion has its silver lining
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
