The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
