he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
