I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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