wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you never un-have a 4some
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
