pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
