Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
