I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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