Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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