come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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