Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
