found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
