Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
