and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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