I need help removing her.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
