so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
