I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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