AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
