Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
