Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
