some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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