Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
