you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
