The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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