wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
