you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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