currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
