Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
